6 Uncomfortable Truths About Money I Learned From A Con Artist

When Inventing Anna first showed up on my Netflix feed, I thought: “Hmmm, a glamourized biopic series about a scammer? No thanks.”

So I gave it a pass.

But after I stumbled upon an article about her conviction and what she did to land herself in prison, my eyes and ears perked up.

Suddenly, Inventing Anna became a very interesting case study on the uncomfortable truths about money that most of us don’t (or don’t like to) talk about, but should.

If you haven’t watched Inventing Anna yet, here’s some background: It’s a dramatized series inspired by the real-life story of Anna Sorokin (aka Anna Delvey), a young woman who posed as a wealthy European heiress and was later convicted of defrauding banks, businesses and New York’s wealthiest out of hundreds of thousands of dollars between 2013 and 2017.

Make no mistake: This post isn’t an attempt to praise or glorify fraud.

It’s meant to highlight how vulnerable so many of us are to the signals of wealth, status and confidence that we’re constantly exposed to.

Whether we want to admit it or not, there’s a money game that’s being played around us all the time, and this money game is the reason why even intelligent people get manipulated into making terrible financial decisions.

So ready or not, here are the biggest money lessons that stood out to me from Inventing Anna:

1. Looking rich often matters more than being rich.

When we spot someone like Anna, we see:

• Designer clothes
• A polished appearance
• Luxury hotel stays
• Expensive restaurant meals
• Wealthy-looking friends

This is when a cognitive bias called The Halo Effect kicks in.

This bias leads us to make a series of positive judgments about this person based on our first impression of her.

And because we automatically assume that someone like Anna is rich, we also assume that she’s successful, competent and trustworthy even before those traits have been legitimately earned.

2. We tend to mistake confidence for competence.

The people around Anna believed her partly because she sounded sure of herself.

“The wire transfer is coming.”

“My trust fund is tied up.”

“My banker’s handling it.”

She exuded confidence, certainty and authority; speaking as if the grand plan in her mind already existed in real life.

But look around you, and you’ll realise that this tactic isn’t unique to Anna.

All you have to do is scroll down your social media feed to notice the same persuasive confidence oozing from every business influencer, finance guru and just about anyone else who’s trying to sell you their version of success and happiness.

And let’s be honest: It makes you stop, listen and eventually, start believing that they’re right, and that whatever’s on sale, is something you need…right now (even though you don’t).

3. Who you know can open doors that hard work alone cannot.

Halfway through Inventing Anna, I was forced to acknowledge another uncomfortable truth: That access to the right circles matters.

Some people are born into it, and the most ambitious among us who aren’t, do whatever it takes to get as close to it as possible:

• Proximity to the wealthy and influential.
• Friendships with the wealthy and influential.
• Social environments where big money changes hands over coffee and small talk.

Figure out how to gain access to this circle and leverage off it, and you’ll be putting yourself in a position to have even more doors open for you, even if the average Joe slogging away at the desk next to yours deserves it more than you do.

4. Social proof can override common sense.

Another uncomfortable truth that most of us never realise is this: That if enough wealthy and influential people treat you as important, other people then start doing the same

This may be why running in the same circles as some of the richest, most well-connected and highly-respected people made others believe that Anna was the real deal, despite knowing absolutely nothing concrete about her.

They, in turn, sent more introductions, invitations, and opportunities her way, deepening their buy-in of the Anna Delvey story and mission.

In their eyes, this social proof equaled credibility, success and trustworthiness.

As humans, we’re wired to trust the signals of success, no matter how shallow they may be: What the wealthy are wearing, who they’re mingling with, the beauty products they’re using, the hedge fund they’re investing in, the oh-so-trendy food they’re eating.

At the same time, we’re constantly scanning the room for follower counts, blue check marks, influencer approval and celebrity endorsements like these are all permission slips to make our next move.

The irony here is that just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it the right (or smart) thing to do.

5. We’re buying an identity, not utility.

People who spend on luxury aren’t just buying an expensive suit or country club membership.

They’re buying:

• Status (“I’m successful.”)
• Exclusivity (“I’m not like everyone else.”)
• Belonging (“I’m one of you.”)

Many people say they want to be rich, but once you check under the hood, you’ll find that for some, what they’re really chasing isn’t true wealth but the status, admiration and acceptance they believe wealth will bring.

6. We stay quiet around wealth.

How could Anna go on with her scam for as long as she did?

Why didn’t anyone say something earlier on?

Here’s the thing: As humans, all of us have an instinctive desire to be liked and accepted.

Whether consciously or not, Anna appeared to benefit from this desire.

When you’re socialising with the rich and famous, the last thing you want to do is to question their riches and fame.

Doing so would run you the risk of looking unsophisticated, petty and ultimately, rude.

And who wants to come up looking like a jerk to the newest millionaire (whom everyone else likes, accepts and respects) on the block?

And so, this powerful but unspoken social rule of never questioning someone’s wealth, status and confidence may have made some people reluctant to question Anna, allowing her to keep her scam going for years.

But the real lessons here aren’t about what Anna did.

Understanding these psychological money traps is one thing.

Side-stepping them in your own life is another.

So what can people like you and me do to protect ourselves from the same biases that kept Anna’s story alive for so long?

1. Get real about appearances.

Yes, appearances matter….to a certain extent.

Wearing beautifully-made clothes that fit you will help keep your confidence and self-esteem up.

Living in a home that you feel good in will do wonders for your well-being.

Driving a decent car that gets you around safely provides peace of mind.

But you don’t have to dig yourself into a financial hole to accomplish any of this.

And neither do you need to let anyone else’s obsession with keeping up money-draining appearances lead you to confuse image with wealth.

Looking rich and being rich are two completely different things.

Whenever you’re tempted to overspend on something, ask yourself this: Are you buying it to genuinely improve your life, or just to look a certain way?

2. Question the hype.

When you see everyone running in the same direction, that’s your cue to stop and ask “why?”.

Whether it’s:

• The newest investment ‘guru’ in town
• This month’s hottest stock tip, or
• The latest (and very expensive) fashion trend that’s gotten your attention,

…this is the time to look past the follower counts and influencer endorsements, and do your own independent research (or maybe just dig really deep within yourself) so you can make a smart, informed decision about your next steps.

As much as we’d like to think that we’re logical and rational creatures, we’re not.

Humans are wired to be emotional.

The sooner you realise this and work on keeping your emotions in check, the greater your chances of becoming financially successful in the long-run.

3. Your environment matters.

It’s no accident that ambitious people often intentionally change their social circles.

They know that who you spend the most time with affects your:

• Drive
• Financial habits
• Mindset
• Opportunities
• Behaviours, and
• Physical and mental health

Spend most of your time with people who hate exercising, and you’ll probably never get fit.

Spend most of your time with toxic, dysfunctional people who refuse to change for the better, and you’ll likely go down with them.

Spend most of your time with folks who live paycheck to paycheck, and your chances of becoming financially independent will likely shrink as time goes on.

Yes, good intentions and hard work matter.

But if you want to go somewhere you’ve never been, you’ve got to surround yourself with people who’ve achieved what you want, or are heading in the same direction as you are.

4. Recognise the sales pitch.

If you want to master your money, you need to recognise when you’re being sold to.

This especially matters when you’re faced with ‘products’ or ‘opportunities’ that sound too good to be true, whether it’s that proposed investment that guarantees eye-popping returns, or the skin cream that promises to erase all your wrinkles.

When you sense someone pushing sales tactics like:

• Exclusivity (“This investment opportunity is invite-only”)
• Scarcity (“Only 10 spots available“)
• Urgency (“It’s only available for the next 24 hours!”), and
• Social proof (you see a celebrity or influencer telling you how amazing it is)

…it’s time to disengage emotionally, then follow the facts and evidence instead.

5. Always go back to your ‘why’.

All of us make mistakes with our money or end up straying from our financial goals at some point.

I know I have — more times than I can count.

It’s just how life works.

What matters more is what you do next when these ‘detours’ happen.

But before you take your next steps, you’ll need to ask yourself some tough questions.

Questions like:

• What does money mean to you: Is it the goal or is it a tool?
• What are you truly trying to buy or gain here: Fake wealth or real wealth?
• What matters most to you: Freedom or status?

Wherever these questions take you, remember: Status and wealth are not the same thing.

Status is about what other people think of you.

Wealth, on the other hand, is about having the time, freedom and security to live life on your terms regardless of what other people think of you.

Anna spent years chasing the first.

Becoming financially independent is about building the second.

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Feature photo: myronstandret/DepositPhoto

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Note: This article is based primarily on themes, events and character portrayals from the Netflix series Inventing Anna, which is a dramatized adaptation inspired by real events. The observations and lessons discussed here are my personal interpretations of the show’s depiction of money, status, influence and human behaviour, and should not be taken as a definitive account of real-life events, nor as a statement about the motivations, beliefs or intentions of any real individual connected to the story.